What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
10.06.2025 23:59
Im still living with it.
Ive learnt so much.
I waited trembling.
Trump signs proclamation banning travel from 12 countries - ABC News
This is how, and why children get BPD.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
How to watch Apple’s WWDC keynote with iOS 26 and more - 9to5Mac
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Are there any nude pictures of women with big tits?
My life is so biszare .
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
This is soul school!.
How do people develop stage 4 cancer without noticing until it’s too late?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Who then, do I blame.?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
2 fans die and an officer is in a coma after Champions League celebrations in France - NBC News
I was seconnd youngest,
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
What is your age now, and what age do you prefer to stay at forever?
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Jury In Harvey Weinstein Rape Retrial Set To Start Deliberations Wednesday – Update - Deadline
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Massive Asteroid Bigger Than the Empire State Building is Racing Toward Earth - The Daily Galaxy
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
I never cut or harmed myself..
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Billionaire YouTuber MrBeast ‘borrowing’ money from mom for his wedding - New York Post
She married twice! .
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
One cannot live in the past .
5 Things to Know Before the Stock Market Opens - Investopedia
We all went to grammer schools
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
He resisted the act ,that day.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But, we were locked up after school.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
I will be 64.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I don,t even have a pension.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
So, i spoilt her more .
My family never makes their pension either.
I said to her
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
She was in good health!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
But ive been too sick for many years..
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I think the readers, may guess!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I was very sick at this time too.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
He knew the spot.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
And i lived it daily.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Put me off passion for life!!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
So whats the point in blame.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
I could never make a relationship work though!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Comes on , in middle age.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
On the 31st of Jan this month .
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I write beautiful poetry .
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I was 9 years of age.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
She loved him until the end.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Would this be the day?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
She found it foreign!.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I was scared of men, in general
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
All the time i was locked up.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
But it wasn’t much.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
It was going to be , some day.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Especially a lifetime of it.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
(And it was in our own minds.)
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
We were not on the streets..
When she asked me how she looked .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
As i do to all so called friends.?
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I have no regrets .
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
My mum and dad in the seventies!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
What did i know ?
She wouldn,t have been !
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!